Wedding Guest Etiquette: Tips for the Ceremony

Formal Place Setting

From the Emily Post Etiquette Book by Peggy Post

The one rule for a formal table is for everything to be geometrically spaced: the centerpiece at the exact center; the place settings at equal distances; and the utensils balanced. Beyond these placemats, you can vary flower arrangements and decorations as you like.

The placement of utensils is guided by the menu, the idea being that you use utensils in an "outside in" order. For the illustrated place setting here, the order of the menu is:
 Appetizer: Shellfish

 First Course: Soup or fruit

 Fish Course

 Entree

 Salad

(a) Service Plate: This large plate, also called a charger, serves as an under plate for the plate holding the first course, which will be brought to the table. When the first course is cleared, the service plate remains until the plate holding


the entree is served, at which point the two plates are exchanged. The charger may serve as the under plate for several courses which precede the entree.
(b) Butter Plate: The small butter plate is placed above the forks at the left of the place setting.

(c) Dinner Fork: The largest of the forks, also called the place fork, is placed on the left of the plate. Other smaller forks for other courses are arranged to the left or right of the dinner fork, according to when they will be used.

(d) Fish Fork: If there is a fish course, this small fork is placed farthest to the left of the dinner fork because it is the first fork used.

(e) Salad Fork: If the salad is served after the entree, the small salad fork is placed to the right of the dinner fork, next to the plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the forks would be arranged (left to right): salad fork, fish fork, dinner fork.

(f) Dinner Knife: The large dinner knife is placed to the right of the dinner plate.

(g) Fish Knife: The specially shaped fish knife goes to the right of the dinner knife.

(h) Salad Knife (Note: there is no salad knife in the illustration): If used, according to the above menu, it would be placed to the left of the dinner knife, next to the dinner plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the knives would be arranged (left to right): dinner knife, fish knife, salad knife.

(i) Soup Spoon or Fruit Spoon: If soup or fruit is served as a first course, then the accompanying spoon goes to the right of the knives.

(j) Oyster Fork: If shellfish are to be served, the oyster fork goes to the right of the spoons. Note: it is the only fork ever placed on the right of the plate.

(k) Butter Knife: The small spreader is paced diagonally on top of the butter plate; handle on the right and blade down.

(l) Glasses: These can number up to five and are placed so that the smaller ones are up front. The water goblet (la) is placed directly above the knives. Just to the right goes champagne flute (lb); in front of these are placed a red (lc) or white (ld) wine glass and a sherry glass (le).

(m) Napkin: The napkin is placed on top of the charger (if one is used) or in the space for the plate.






In General:



 Knife blades are always placed with the cutting edge toward the plate.

 No more than three of any implement is ever placed on the table, except when an oyster fork is used in addition to three other forks. If more than three courses are served before dessert, then the utensil for the fourth course is brought in with the food; likewise the salad fork and knife may be brought in when the salad course is served.

 Dessert spoons and forks are brought in on the dessert plate just before dessert is served.


 

How to carry Bridal Bouquets

 

To feel confident and self-assured, your brides will want to make sure they are holding and carrying the bouquet appropriately. Not every bouquet is carried the same way. Typically, the type of bouquet and features of the gown will determine the way the bouquet should be carried.

The most popular round, heart, cascade, and crescent bouquets are normally held and carried in front. These types of bouquets should be low enough to reveal the details on the neckline and bodice of the gown and are held with both hands as if arms are resting on the hips. The tendency to bring the bouquet up to the waist is natural; however it hides the details of the gown.

Small, lightweight and delicate bouquets, such as nosegays, clutch bouquets or single blossoms, can be carried to the side with one hand and are generally held at the same level as a bouquet held in front. If the nosegay is mounted in an elaborate or family heirloom tussy mussy (a small, Victorian style, metal or glass, cone-shaped holder), proudly display it by holding and carrying the bouquet in the front instead of the side. If a tussy mussy holder is chosen for the, there is generally only enough room to hold it securely with one hand. For proper positioning, carry the tussy mussy upwards in the hand with the forearm bent slightly so it is horizontal (parallel to the floor) while the elbow rests comfortably on the hip.

Floral pomanders (bloom-covered balls or cones suspended from a ribbon) can be carried to the side in the same manner as a nosegay or in front in the same manner as a round bouquet. Typically, adult attendants carry pomanders to the side with one hand while children carry them in the front with both hands. Arm bouquets which are long floral stems should rest naturally and comfortably across the inner bend of the elbow so that the bouquet is cradled in the arms with the blossom end of the flowers facing away from the body. This holding and carrying technique is not only comfortable, but it also allows guests on one side to see the open blossoms as you walk down the aisle and guests on the other side to see the open blossoms as you walk back up the aisle. Specialty bouquets such as fans, baskets, and prayer books should be carried according to their size and proportion. Smaller specialty bouquets can be carried



to either your front or side, while larger baskets should be carried down and to the side.

Whatever style is chosen, it's always best to hold and carry the bouquet in the most appropriate and natural way. You will want your bride to look regal and confident as she walks down the aisle, and this will ensure that all photographs capture her holding the bouquet comfortably without raising it too high and covering portions of the neck, face, or the exquisite details of the gown

Planning a Cocktail Reception?

 

 

National Bridal Service and Weddings Beautiful certified consultants such as TriniWeddings are available to answer questions and offer guidelines for brides who are planning a cocktail reception.

·         Brides should stay open to various ideas and suggestions even though their chosen venue may offer set menus. In many places it may be possible to mix and match from various menus.  Many food suppliers are open to creating a custom menu for you based on your budget - as long as it meets their minimum pricing.

·         If your plan is to have a lavish cocktail reception most food professionals will suggest that you plan to serve an assortment of no more than eight to ten appetizer items.  If there is no meal to follow, plan on each guest eating two or three of each item.  The simple guideline is twenty four pieces per guest.  You should use this guide as you work with your caterer to see how he/she plans to provide coverage for your guests.   Be aware that this amount will obviously vary based on the length of your reception.   Many couples will follow cocktails and hors d'oeuvre with coffee and desserts. The quantity and type of appetizers you choose to serve would influence your dessert options.

·         Once you have an idea of the cost for this type of reception, you may want to consider a buffet which can be less expensive.  However, a buffet can have a very different  feel from the lavish serving of appetizers, elegantly displayed and passed one item per tray on silver servers.

·         You might consider setting up several mini tasting stations where guests can help themselves to the less expensive choices.  Space the stations so that there will be no traffic jams.  Using these stations for some items, reserve the more expensive items for tray service from white gloved waiters.  Having choice items passed gives you a measure of control.  Make sure that each mini station is set with plates, cutlery and napkins.

·         This type of reception works well when you choose to serve champagne and other non alcoholic sparking beverages.  For variety, consider asking a bartender for ideas to create a special signature cocktail for your guests.

 

For more ideas and answers to questions call 868 6288  or email info@triniweddings.com

Caring for Your Wedding Gown after your wedding

 

 

 

 

You are quite unlikely to ever own any item of clothing as beautiful and symbolic as your wedding gown!

If you wish to keep it so that your daughter can wear it one day or as a personal keepsake of a monumental day in your life or plan to sell it someday, it is important that you realize that there are things you must do in order to preserve it.  There is an overwhelming number of brides who treasure their gowns and preserve them after the ceremony. These brides actually forego the popular trash the dress  ritual.

Firstly, you must make sure that your dress is carefully cleaned  before it is stored.  Food and beverage stains, though seemingly invisible at first glance, are likely to yellow later on.  The hemline is usually soiled and must be cleaned.  Many cleaners may offer to pack your gown in a special box, which offers protection from dust in the air and I suggest you choose a cleaning company that offers this service.

If you decide to store it yourself, it is best to place it in a cool, dry place.  If you chose to store it on a hanger, sew straps to the waistline to relieve pressure on the shoulder seams from the weight of the skirt.  Stuff the sleeves (if your gown has them) with white tissue.  Finally, wrap the entire garment in a protective sheet or muslin covering.  Do not encase the gown in plastic.

Your Wedding Reception (Celebration) Schedule

Weddings are filled with many exciting and unforgettable moments.  The commitment ceremony is very special and is considered sacred by many.  The reception is the  celebration time.  Since this celebration is likely to be one of the biggest social events you will ever plan, Triniweddings wants to help you make it truly memorable and we are sharing some guidelines to help you plan the best reception ever.

If your reception is likely to last four hours, you can schedule activities at a leisurely pace.  Both your wedding planner and and/or the reception site manager can help you plan the sequence of events exactly as you wish them.  If you don't know where to start, here is an example of a well scheduled reception you may wish to consider.

Usually there are photos taken between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception.  Work with your photographer to try to minimize the time spent with group shots.  The special effect photos that you want taken should be done before or a few days after the ceremony whenever possible.  Ideally, the reception site would not be further than half an hour’s drive from the ceremony.  Since  your guests are likely to go directly to the reception from the ceremony and are likely to arrive before you and the wedding party, be sure to have a reception host or hostess at the site ready to greet your guests and direct them to whatever area you have chosen for cocktails.  After the cocktails, and I am assuming here that you are having a formal reception, your guests are ushered into the formal area and are seated to await your arrival.  If your entire reception is a cocktail one, as is very fashionable these days, everything is done in the same space.

Once you and the bridal party have arrived, the DJ or master of ceremonies should introduce you and your wedding party.  This is the appropriate time for a few toasts and cake cutting. However, more and more couples are choosing to have dinner served before the toasts depending on how much time has elapsed between the ceremony and the reception and your choice of cocktails.  You and the groom can start greeting guests if you have finished your dinner before your guests. It is very important that you greet your guests.

Triniweddings always prefers to use the first dance as the prelude to the dance party as it is natural for guests to start dancing after the couple and the parents dance.  Once the party has started and the guests are no longer inhibited the bride can toss her bouquet and the garter can be removed,  if she so chooses.  The tradition of the bride and groom departing the ceremony to signal its end is fast dying and couples are partying until the last guest leaves

For more advice and ideas on staging the reception of a lifetime, call 868 628-9333 or email mwilt@triniweddings.com to arrange your consultation appointment.

Budget Ideas

We know that if a bride isn’t careful, the budget for her wedding can be blown in an afternoon.

At TriniWeddings we are experts at helping brides create the wedding of their dreams without the nightmares that come with being over-budget. Here are some practical ideas that we know can help avoid the budget crunch.
The guest list. Look at your wedding realistically. You are inviting friends and relatives to help you celebrate this important day in your lives. Others on the list are likely to be friends of both sets of parents. A conversation with each of them about the number of guests is necessary unless you and/or your parents can afford to pay for everything and everyone.
Big floral arrangements (as seen on TV portrayals of "must have" accessories) are likely to be beyond your budget and are certainly not necessary. Take a good look at the church and see if you really need all those flowers. Most churches do not. Instead of floral overloads, we suggest that you rent some greenery if you have large places to fill. Use the money to enliven your reception spaces if necessary.
If you have a friend or relative who was recently married, it may be possible to borrow some things – gloves, shoes, veils or headpieces, jewelry. It will not only save you money but satisfy your need for "something borrowed".
When you place your order for wedding invitations, order all your wedding stationery needs at one time (including a few more than you think you will need) and do not forget your thank you cards. Set up charges for a few extras later can be very expensive.
While today’s invitations offer a wide variety of paper style, colors, fonts and trims. The current trend toward memorable and unique invitations may be exactly what you want. However this is costly and you may have to spend a significant portion of your budget on this. Try instead to make a simple elegant statement using ivory vellum and choosing an interesting font. For more invisible budget ideas, or answers to questions, phone us at 628-WEDD or email info@triniweddings.com