WEDDING TIP -Dress Hunting

 

                     

For many brides the most exciting part of being engaged is the process of finding “the perfect dress”.  At one time it was a process shrouded in mystery.  Now thanks to the many TV shows devoted to gown selection, brides have some ideas about how to go about this wonderful experience.  Some principles have stood brides in good stead for decades.  Here are some areas for today’s brides to consider before they begin to look for that gown.

1. Many brides have a good sense of their own fashion preferences.  They know what looks good on them.  Think about what you wear and why it looks good.  What are your fashion preferences?  Are you tailored, frilly, feminine, or casual?  Do you want a gown that reflects those looks or is your wedding gown to be a complete departure?  Think about the “look” you want for your wedding.  Look at magazines, check out web sites and make notes of the styles that catch your eye.  When you go into a wedding salon, one of the questions you’ll be asked is “Do you have any styles in mind?”  The wedding consultant who will be assisting you in your selection process will prefer to start with gowns that reflect your personal tastes.

2. Be honest with yourself about your body shape.  If you are tall, you’re lucky.  Lots of gowns are made for tall brides.  If you are short, you’re lucky.  Many designers see the petite bride as their specialty.  If you are heavier in the bust, or in the hips, or thighs, or shoulders – be honest with yourself and let the wedding consultant work with you to find the perfect dress to accent or camouflage certain areas.

3. Think about color.  Gowns are shown in bridal white, soft creamy ivory, silver, gold and all shades in between.  Color trims can accent most gowns.  What are your most flattering shades? 

4. When you go into a store to try on gowns, go prepared.  Wear good underwear – especially a bra and any foundation garment you think you may wish to wear under your gown.  If something special is needed for the gown you ultimately choose, your wedding consultant can help with that.  You should wear a shoe with the approximate heel height you’ll wear for the ceremony.

5. Don’t focus on your dress size.  I watched a TV show in which the bride to be refused to consider a dress that looked fabulous on her because it wasn’t a size 2.  She stated that she only wore size 2.  Well forget about the number.  Every designer has his/her version of sizing.  That’s why you are working with a professional wedding consultant.  She knows her merchandise, the designers she has selected for her store and she will find you the perfect dress with a perfect fit.  Don’t worry about size and don’t order a smaller dress size “planning to fit into it”.  Be guided by the consultant.

6. Give yourself plenty of time to order the gown, be prepared to make a deposit on your order and think carefully before taking a group with you.  One person whose taste you respect is truly enough – two tops!  It is a special time for you to pick out the gown that means the most to you – not to the cousins, godmothers and sorority friends you’ve gathered to participate in this event.

WEDDING TIPS - I’m Happy – But Stressed

The good news?   You’re engaged.  The less wonderful news? You’re feeling the stress.

It is a happy time, but we know that stress can set in as you try to deal with the myriad of details that threaten to drown you.  You have decisions to make about the ceremony and reception locations, what to wear, attendants to select, whom to invite, what flowers, music and photographers to choose.  There are budget questions to solve.  All these issues can generate a case of “wedding jitters”.

To relieve your stress or at least make it manageable, we offer these key points.

• If money issues generate the stress, take the time as a couple to determine your priorities.  List the items of most important to you both.  From a list of 10-20, select the top 5.  These five – listed in priority order – are the items on which you are less likely to compromise.  Then as you review your budget, you can “borrow” from the other items on your list to keep the budget in balance.  If you have your heart set on a particular gown, you can help pay for it by saving money on flowers or photography etc.
• If the stress is coming from family, be clear about the source of the stress and firm about communicating your feelings.  Talk out the issues you see with your parents, friends and those involved.  Be gracious but firm about expressing views and concerns.  Don’t “stuff” the feelings so they end up hurting a relationship

• If the stress is coming from the crush of events and the sense of being overwhelmed by everything you sense must be done, SHARE the responsibilities.  Hire a wedding planner, enlist the groom, ask parents to take over specific jobs.  Get yourself a wedding planning book (hard copy or on line version) and be faithful about entering plans made.  Follow its suggestions for organizing your projects.

• Get enough sleep and take care of your health by eating well.  Make good use of your gym membership and exercise away the stress.

• When it all seems too much, speak with our TriniWeddings certified and experienced consultants.  We can help you put it all in perspective and remind you of what is really important in this wedding you are planning.

WHEN A MARRIAGE ENDS

             

The early end to the Kardashian/Humphries nuptials has focused unfortunate attention on the wedding gift arena.  After only 72 days of marriage, most people in the Western Hemisphere know that Kim Kardashian Humphries filed for divorce.  While various groups have various views on why it happened, what many celebrity watchers are wondering is “What happens to the gifts?”

This is an area that rarely gets talked about because the couple’s focus is on their upcoming wedding.  It is exciting and happy and busy and no one thinks that his/her wedding will come unglued so quickly.  Most couples talk about “forever and ever.”  Unfortunately, that doesn’t come true for some.

The rule of thumb has always been that wedding gifts received for any wedding, which ends at or around six months must be returned.  (Emily Post)  That clearly includes Kim K.  Traditionally, it is also expected that any gifts that have been used do not need to be returned.  The exception is the monster diamond engagement ring Kris gave Kim.  She may keep the ring since it was a gift from the groom to his bride.

What other guidelines exist to cover this situation?  The bride and groom should be sending handwritten notes to each of their guests in which they thank the individuals for attending their ceremony and letting them know that the marriage is being dissolved.  In the note they need to reference the gift received and its disposition – either returned to the giver or donated in their name to a special charity.  If the gift was cash, it needs to be returned to the giver. 

One can only hope that the couple goes about “uncoupling” in a quiet and dignified manner.  No parties or celebrations should be held.

This doesn’t happen often, but as wedding professionals we know how to advise the bride who finds herself in this unfortunate situation.

MUST-SHOOT MOMENTS FOR AN INTERESTING PHOTO ALBUM

Make a list of family members you want included in your album and make sure you assign someone who knows everyone to assist the photographer. Include the following in your list.

1. When Dad sees you in your dress for the first time.

2. The groom’s reaction as he watches you walking d...own the aisle toward him.

3. Kids being kids: dancing freestyle, sleeping on chairs, hiding under tables.

4. The two of you moments after the ceremony, exuding pure happiness.

5. The little details- flowers, place cards, programs, favors, table settings – that define the moment and make it all yours.

USING TECHNOLOGY

Brides who are used to communicating with electronic “tools” may be tempted to “do it all” with technology when they think of wedding planning.  But we caution our brides to take a careful look at the world of Eplanning.   There simply are times when the bride needs to leave the keyboard or apps and do some of her planning face to face.

The Internet will be a help in searching out reception sites that may fit one’s budget, but a bride simply must check it out in person.  She may be able to hear music played by a band she is considering, but nothing beats meeting the group in person.

Cake makers can show photographs of some of their creations on line, but until you’ve tasted the actual product, how can you decide?

Ordering your wedding gown or bridesmaid’s dresses on line is also a bad idea.  Sizing and quality can vary widely so you and your maids should try on your gown choices before making a purchase.  To assure that gowns will be in on time, don’t risk ordering from an online resource.  Shop a reputable store that stands behind its merchandise.

Before registering online for wedding gifts, we recommend that you meet with an expert sales associate at a major retailer.  They have years of experience helping couples select registry items.

Brides may be tempted to send “virtual invitations”, but once again we caution brides against that.  Use the Internet to enter pertinent information about your wedding but plan to send printed invitations.  As one bride put it, “I may be old fashioned, but there is a touch of class I want associated with my wedding and an electronic invitation doesn’t cut it.” 

We advise our brides to be careful about disclosing information about their weddings on the social networks.  Here we feel that “less is more”.  Certainly share the joy of the upcoming wedding but don’t constantly post updates on the status of your plans.  Don’t go overboard posting photos.  A select few are a nice touch.  Too many will leave a bad impression.

By all means use the Internet as an information resource to get ideas and lists of vendors to visit.  But make the key decisions in person with family input as appropriate. 

Some Wedding Planning Tips

As one wedding planner put it, “Just because you have planned something, doesn’t mean it is going to happen.”  Here are some tips from TriniWedding  planners to help insure that everything works well at your wedding.

1.       Getting Ready.   Of course you want to look your best on this big day.  You may have booked a hair stylist for yourself and your bridesmaids.  Maybe someone is doing makeup for all.  In order for everything to flow, treat this as a salon appointment and require everyone to be on time for the appointments.  Work with the stylists to establish a sensible timeline and insist that your wedding party be on time.  A lot goes on before you walk down the aisle, and you don’t need to add undue stress to the list.

2.      Photographs.  Every couple wants the album of perfect pictures from the wedding.  Check out several photographers and insist on seeing their work.  Some specialize in formal shots and others are masters of creative vignettes.  Some do both.  Make sure that everything goes smoothly by giving the photographer a list of the people you want to make sure are included in your wedding album.  Appoint a friend to run interference for the photographer and make sure that each of those persons is available for photos.  The photographer should spend his/her time shooting pictures, not searching out the people you want in the photos.

3.      If you are planning a cocktail reception, make sure that the caterer has wait staff ready with trays of cocktails as the guests enter.  For the first five to ten minutes staff should focus on getting beverages into guest’s hands.  Once that has been done, then they can start passing canapés.  Stress the importance of this to the caterer.  You don’t want lines at the bar if you are having an open bar.  Appoint someone as host/hostess at your reception and introduce them to the caterer before your event.  They can make sure that guests are not standing in lines waiting.

4.      Order of Service.   Think of your guests.  If you have elderly relatives, make sure that they are served first.  Unless you feel strongly about it, consider having the head table served last.  That gives the couple a chance to chat with guests and socialize.

5.      Be aware of “down time”.  Weddings can lose energy after the food course.  Guests are at different points in the meal.  This can be a good time to introduce one or two toasts.  But have the best man announce that toasts need to be kept to a minimum of 3 – 5 minutes. 

For many other helpful ideas to keep your party flowing nicely, talk with a TriniWeddings experienced consultant.