Planning Mistakes To Avoid

Experienced wedding planners offer advice to brides because they love what they do.  They have lots of great ideas for creating a fabulous wedding, but they have also learned a number of things they advise their brides to avoid.

1.  Remember that you have invited guests to a party to celebrate this important day in your life.  Don’t punish them for accepting your invitation to the ceremony and reception by having a big time gap between the two events.  If you want to be married in your childhood church in the country but want a city reception, reconsider the time lag and distance between destinations from the guest’s point of view.  It can be hard to plan a seamless schedule especially if you have your heart set on locations miles apart or have ceremony and reception times that don’t line up, but if that’s what you end up with, consider providing transportation for all guests between locations or find a spot between the two where guests can “hang out” and be comfortable while they wait.

2.  You may want a destination wedding in an exotic spot, but before you book it consider whether or not your family, wedding party and guests can afford to get there or are able to get there.  You may think that declaring your vows on the edge of an active volcano is highly symbolic of your relationship with the groom, but the likelihood of grandparents making the trek is minimal. As one planner says, “Destination weddings can be terrific, but as with any wedding, it is not only about you, it is also about your guests.”  Where possible select locations that are easy for everyone to reach.  A well traveled spot for example is a good choice.  Plan the wedding well in advance so that potential guests can make arrangements to attend.  Provide travel information and group rates where possible.

3. Try to stay in charge of the guest list.  Once the wedding budget is established, you’ll have a good sense of how many guests can comfortably be invited.  If your budget is a six-figure event, relax and let parents invite whomever they feel they must.  But if your budget is more real than imaginary, the list will probably need trimming.  Start early and ask both sets of parents for their preferred guest list in order of preference.  That way you can cut from the bottom if necessary.  Try negotiating the outcomes.  It is a great skill to learn.

4. Do not forget your fiance’.  Yes you are planning a gorgeous wedding – but remember who you are marrying.  Involve him in the planning process.  There must be an area of special interest to him that he’d like to organize.  Honeymoon plans, transportation, music – ask him what he’d like to do.  You do have a life outside of this wedding, so talk about it, make plans for your future together and remember why you said yes in the first place.  It is not all about crab cakes and caviar.

For ideas or answers to your questions call TriniWeddings at 624-4015 or email mwilt@triniweddings.com

Musts for the Bride to Be

As plans ramp up and your focus is THE WEDDING at the expense of other aspects of your life, take the advice of many wedding planners and Practice Self Care. Do whatever you need to do to unwind, relax and sleep well.  Take your vitamins, get healthy exercise and find emotional outlets for the stress you are under.  Remember your groom.  Do fun things together and plan together.  This is not the time to get run down and “catch” the bug that is making the rounds.  You need to be healthy and strong and resilient.

Get and stay organized. Start early and document every decision made around your special day.  It doesn’t matter if you have high tech records or sheets of paper clipped together or in file folders or paper bags.  Whatever system works for you- implement it early and keep it current. 

Set a budget and stick to it.  From the start, the couple should sit down together and decide how much they can afford to spend on the wedding and where they feel it should be spent.  Agree on priorities.  Talk honestly with parents about their willingness and ability to contribute to the wedding.  Look at the major expense items – reception costs, honeymoon, clothing, photographs, entertainment, and flowers. Working within those guidelines makes other decisions easier.

Remember to be grateful for all that you have and all that others are doing for you.  You will get gifts, good wishes and offers of assistance.  Remember to thank everyone for their offers.  Weddings are joyous affairs and people want to be a part of a positive and exciting event that a marriage truly is.

Remember your plans and don’t be derailed.  You’ve set your budget and made significant decisions.  Don’t be tempted to play “one up manship”.   You’ll go to other weddings while planning yours and see lots of ideas.  Some you’ll want to copy and others you won’t but before you do, remember your budget.  This is your wedding – not a copy of your friend’s big day.  She had her event.  You’ll have yours.

Let go of bridal guilt.  No one can make everyone happy all the time.  Worrying about it takes up far more time and energy than is deserved.  Sometimes guilt is good.  It can help us deal with the feelings of others.  But most of the time, we are afraid we’ve let someone down.  Do your best to be aware of the feelings of others and honor them when you can.  But on the wedding day, you are there to please yourself and your groom as you begin your new life together.

For ideas and or answers to your wedding questions call TriniWeddings at 868 624-4015 or email  mwilt@triniweddings.com