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Gift Registries

Despite the fact that gift registries have been around for nearly a century, there are still couples who resist using them and feel awkward about signing up with their "wish list".  They feel like they are begging for gifts and are embarrassed to do so.  But know this - gift registries are a blessing to both the couple AND THEIR GUESTS.  Guests would prefer to give gifts that they know the couple want and will prize.  They are going to give a gift but would much rather give something sought after.  Help them out and register.Here are some guidelines to help make the registry lists helpful to both you and your guests.

·         Take a look at the guest list and make sure the items for which you are planning to register offer a wide price range.  If many of your friends are in university or just graduated, they may have student loans to pay off and can't afford expensive gifts.  Make sure your gift registry has moderately priced  items on it.

·         Put gift cards on the list.   At one time people felt funny about gift cards, but they are totally acceptable.  They are an easy last minute grab for guests who don't plan ahead and are a lovely bit of spendable "cash" for an item you wanted but didn't put on your gift registry.

·         Provide in-store and online options.  The online options are perfect for out of town guests and relatives.  However, remember that there are people who like to lift and touch the items they plan to buy for you.  For them, a bricks and mortar store is a must.

·         Ask only for items you really want.  Some wedding planners will say it's ok to include items that you don't particularly want because you can always return them.  Try to avoid that.  It can be a hassle to return things and you can end up having to explain to your favorite aunt why the lamp she purchased for you isn't on the end table as she envisioned it.  Spend time up front and make good choices the first time.

·         Consider adding a few personal items to the list.  The bride can add a few things she personally wants and so can the groom.  The items don't need to all be useful around the house.

·         Be gracious no matter what the gift is.  You must thank every person for every gift whether you like the item or not and whether it was on your registry or not.  People give you gifts because they care for and about you and want to share in your celebration.  They need to know how important their gift was to you.

Call 868 628-9333 or email  mwilt@triniweddings.com for more ideas and answers to questions.

Shower Themes

Showers on one's wedding day are supposed to bring the couple good luck but convincing a bride of that is difficult!  A bride would rather have sunshine and pleasant weather.  However, the other kind of shower that is part of the wedding tradition is welcome.

Wedding showers are gift-giving parties held for couples about to get married.  According to experts, the custom began in the 19th century and is primarily celebrated in North America and Australia.  Guests traditionally "shower" the bride-to-be with the items she will need to set up her new home.

And while the traditional shower is still a main focus, versions have erupted and become popular.  According to TheKnot.com there are some key trends in modern bridal showers beyond the traditional "women only" ones.

·         Couples showers - are increasing in popularity.  The guests are a mixed audience of female and male friends and relatives.  While gifts are still the main focus of the event, they are varied and include "guy stuff" in the mix of household gifts.  The shower is a party for good friends.

·         Power showers - are events that focus on the groom-to-be who is showered with a wide range of gadgets and power tools to stock the garage.  These  parties are guy focused and tend to be golf outings, poker nights or action movie themes.

·         Destination/activity showers - move out of someone's living room or the party room at a local restaurant and into a special spot or activity.  Some ideas include a spa day, horseback riding, or a day at a baseball game.  Because these types of showers can be expensive to host, the guest list is usually limited to the bride's closest friends.

·         Bride-involved showers.  This is tricky ground.  Some brides would like to be involved in planning their showers, rather than be surprised by the whole event.  However, "being involved in" is not the same as commandeering the whole event for yourself.  Traditionally, the shower is given by a friend or relative - not by the bride's mother or close relative.

·         Post wedding event -It is customary for the showers to be given prior to the wedding itself.  But with guests and couples spread across the country, some showers are  held after the wedding itself.

Call 868 628 9333 or email  mwilt@triniweddings.com   for more ideas and answers to questions.

The Guest List

Deciding who to invite and how many to invite are major decisions that will impact much of your wedding planning effort.  But before that decision of who and how many is made, you must do some serious thinking.  You and your finance need to consider what kind of wedding you want.  Have you dreamt of a huge wedding with nearly everyone you know in attendance or do you prefer a more intimate gathering of your closest family and friends?  What is your budget?  Does that mean that you have a few guests for an elegant sit down dinner or a big gathering at a buffet?  Once you have a handle on the likely size of the wedding, you can begin to gather guest names.

There are a few traditional ways to assemble the guest list.  The simplest is to divide between the bride's family and the groom's family - 1/2 each.  Or you can divide the list in thirds - 1/3 to the couple, 1/3 to the bride's family or 1/3 to the groom's family.  Remember to be flexible and try not to hurt anyone's feelings.  Know that there is some flexibility in the numbers.  Most wedding planners would suggest that as many as 20% of those invited will be unable to attend for a variety of reasons.  This can vary by time of year and area of the country, but it is a good general rule to keep in the back of your mind.

When you are assembling your lists, keep in mind that not only the names on the lists get invitations, but also the groom's immediate family, the wedding officiant, all members of the bridal party as well as their spouses or dates.

Once the potential list is assembled from all parties, you may find that some cuts will have to be made.

Deciding whom to cut or how many to cut is tough.  Maybe everyone has to cut a set number from their list.  Or the person with the longest list should make the cuts.  Or you can set criteria for certain categories of people like business associates or casual acquaintances or friends you haven't seen for years.  Maybe some of the names submitted are not likely to attend and would be better served by an announcement.  Maybe the wedding should not/could not include children.  Leave the parents on the guest list but omit the children's names when the invitation is addressed.  Whatever method is chosen, try to be fair and equitable.

Wedding Invitation Wording: What Not to Include

RSVP's (Guest Replies)

When selecting items for one’s paper trousseau,  brides should remember to order reply cards and envelopes. These have become “essentials” when attempting to calculate the number of guests to
expect at the reception.

Even though they are sent with the invitation package, there will always be a number of guests who
never bother to reply. Your choice is to go with some industry average that calculates that up to 10% of invited guests won’t attend and won’t let you know they aren’t coming. Plan accordingly therefore and contact those “silent” guests directly and ask if they are planning to attend.

Some brides elect to make the calls themselves, others involve their mothers and the groom's mother to contact the guests who have not replied. As Martha Stewart says, “Once the R.S.V.P. deadline printed on the reply card has come and gone, you are well within bounds to start reaching out to tardy invitees.” When you do call, keep the message short and sweet. Martha suggests these words: “I wanted to be sure you got our wedding invitation. I need to get the final numbers to my caterer this week, and we’d love to know whether we’ll be seeing you there.”

We know that some brides-to-be are considering a “B-list” of invited guests. We don’t condone
that practice but are well aware that it happens. If you are planning to use this approach, we offer these considerations: Most people will figure out they are “second-tier” guests when the invitation comes to them two weeks before the wedding date. If you are determined to use a second round of invitations, at least be strategic about it

. Send your first round of invitations out up to 10 weeks in advance and set the R.S.V.P. to at least 5 weeks before the wedding date. Once regrets start coming in, you can still get a few invitations out to names on the B-List if you are determined to do so.

For more ideas phone (868) 628- 9333 or email  mwilt@triniweddings.com

Wedding Guest Etiquette: Tips for the Ceremony

Formal Place Setting

From the Emily Post Etiquette Book by Peggy Post

The one rule for a formal table is for everything to be geometrically spaced: the centerpiece at the exact center; the place settings at equal distances; and the utensils balanced. Beyond these placemats, you can vary flower arrangements and decorations as you like.

The placement of utensils is guided by the menu, the idea being that you use utensils in an "outside in" order. For the illustrated place setting here, the order of the menu is:
 Appetizer: Shellfish

 First Course: Soup or fruit

 Fish Course

 Entree

 Salad

(a) Service Plate: This large plate, also called a charger, serves as an under plate for the plate holding the first course, which will be brought to the table. When the first course is cleared, the service plate remains until the plate holding


the entree is served, at which point the two plates are exchanged. The charger may serve as the under plate for several courses which precede the entree.
(b) Butter Plate: The small butter plate is placed above the forks at the left of the place setting.

(c) Dinner Fork: The largest of the forks, also called the place fork, is placed on the left of the plate. Other smaller forks for other courses are arranged to the left or right of the dinner fork, according to when they will be used.

(d) Fish Fork: If there is a fish course, this small fork is placed farthest to the left of the dinner fork because it is the first fork used.

(e) Salad Fork: If the salad is served after the entree, the small salad fork is placed to the right of the dinner fork, next to the plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the forks would be arranged (left to right): salad fork, fish fork, dinner fork.

(f) Dinner Knife: The large dinner knife is placed to the right of the dinner plate.

(g) Fish Knife: The specially shaped fish knife goes to the right of the dinner knife.

(h) Salad Knife (Note: there is no salad knife in the illustration): If used, according to the above menu, it would be placed to the left of the dinner knife, next to the dinner plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the knives would be arranged (left to right): dinner knife, fish knife, salad knife.

(i) Soup Spoon or Fruit Spoon: If soup or fruit is served as a first course, then the accompanying spoon goes to the right of the knives.

(j) Oyster Fork: If shellfish are to be served, the oyster fork goes to the right of the spoons. Note: it is the only fork ever placed on the right of the plate.

(k) Butter Knife: The small spreader is paced diagonally on top of the butter plate; handle on the right and blade down.

(l) Glasses: These can number up to five and are placed so that the smaller ones are up front. The water goblet (la) is placed directly above the knives. Just to the right goes champagne flute (lb); in front of these are placed a red (lc) or white (ld) wine glass and a sherry glass (le).

(m) Napkin: The napkin is placed on top of the charger (if one is used) or in the space for the plate.






In General:



 Knife blades are always placed with the cutting edge toward the plate.

 No more than three of any implement is ever placed on the table, except when an oyster fork is used in addition to three other forks. If more than three courses are served before dessert, then the utensil for the fourth course is brought in with the food; likewise the salad fork and knife may be brought in when the salad course is served.

 Dessert spoons and forks are brought in on the dessert plate just before dessert is served.


 

How to carry Bridal Bouquets

 

To feel confident and self-assured, your brides will want to make sure they are holding and carrying the bouquet appropriately. Not every bouquet is carried the same way. Typically, the type of bouquet and features of the gown will determine the way the bouquet should be carried.

The most popular round, heart, cascade, and crescent bouquets are normally held and carried in front. These types of bouquets should be low enough to reveal the details on the neckline and bodice of the gown and are held with both hands as if arms are resting on the hips. The tendency to bring the bouquet up to the waist is natural; however it hides the details of the gown.

Small, lightweight and delicate bouquets, such as nosegays, clutch bouquets or single blossoms, can be carried to the side with one hand and are generally held at the same level as a bouquet held in front. If the nosegay is mounted in an elaborate or family heirloom tussy mussy (a small, Victorian style, metal or glass, cone-shaped holder), proudly display it by holding and carrying the bouquet in the front instead of the side. If a tussy mussy holder is chosen for the, there is generally only enough room to hold it securely with one hand. For proper positioning, carry the tussy mussy upwards in the hand with the forearm bent slightly so it is horizontal (parallel to the floor) while the elbow rests comfortably on the hip.

Floral pomanders (bloom-covered balls or cones suspended from a ribbon) can be carried to the side in the same manner as a nosegay or in front in the same manner as a round bouquet. Typically, adult attendants carry pomanders to the side with one hand while children carry them in the front with both hands. Arm bouquets which are long floral stems should rest naturally and comfortably across the inner bend of the elbow so that the bouquet is cradled in the arms with the blossom end of the flowers facing away from the body. This holding and carrying technique is not only comfortable, but it also allows guests on one side to see the open blossoms as you walk down the aisle and guests on the other side to see the open blossoms as you walk back up the aisle. Specialty bouquets such as fans, baskets, and prayer books should be carried according to their size and proportion. Smaller specialty bouquets can be carried



to either your front or side, while larger baskets should be carried down and to the side.

Whatever style is chosen, it's always best to hold and carry the bouquet in the most appropriate and natural way. You will want your bride to look regal and confident as she walks down the aisle, and this will ensure that all photographs capture her holding the bouquet comfortably without raising it too high and covering portions of the neck, face, or the exquisite details of the gown

Planning a Cocktail Reception?

 

 

National Bridal Service and Weddings Beautiful certified consultants such as TriniWeddings are available to answer questions and offer guidelines for brides who are planning a cocktail reception.

·         Brides should stay open to various ideas and suggestions even though their chosen venue may offer set menus. In many places it may be possible to mix and match from various menus.  Many food suppliers are open to creating a custom menu for you based on your budget - as long as it meets their minimum pricing.

·         If your plan is to have a lavish cocktail reception most food professionals will suggest that you plan to serve an assortment of no more than eight to ten appetizer items.  If there is no meal to follow, plan on each guest eating two or three of each item.  The simple guideline is twenty four pieces per guest.  You should use this guide as you work with your caterer to see how he/she plans to provide coverage for your guests.   Be aware that this amount will obviously vary based on the length of your reception.   Many couples will follow cocktails and hors d'oeuvre with coffee and desserts. The quantity and type of appetizers you choose to serve would influence your dessert options.

·         Once you have an idea of the cost for this type of reception, you may want to consider a buffet which can be less expensive.  However, a buffet can have a very different  feel from the lavish serving of appetizers, elegantly displayed and passed one item per tray on silver servers.

·         You might consider setting up several mini tasting stations where guests can help themselves to the less expensive choices.  Space the stations so that there will be no traffic jams.  Using these stations for some items, reserve the more expensive items for tray service from white gloved waiters.  Having choice items passed gives you a measure of control.  Make sure that each mini station is set with plates, cutlery and napkins.

·         This type of reception works well when you choose to serve champagne and other non alcoholic sparking beverages.  For variety, consider asking a bartender for ideas to create a special signature cocktail for your guests.

 

For more ideas and answers to questions call 868 6288  or email info@triniweddings.com

Caring for Your Wedding Gown after your wedding

 

 

 

 

You are quite unlikely to ever own any item of clothing as beautiful and symbolic as your wedding gown!

If you wish to keep it so that your daughter can wear it one day or as a personal keepsake of a monumental day in your life or plan to sell it someday, it is important that you realize that there are things you must do in order to preserve it.  There is an overwhelming number of brides who treasure their gowns and preserve them after the ceremony. These brides actually forego the popular trash the dress  ritual.

Firstly, you must make sure that your dress is carefully cleaned  before it is stored.  Food and beverage stains, though seemingly invisible at first glance, are likely to yellow later on.  The hemline is usually soiled and must be cleaned.  Many cleaners may offer to pack your gown in a special box, which offers protection from dust in the air and I suggest you choose a cleaning company that offers this service.

If you decide to store it yourself, it is best to place it in a cool, dry place.  If you chose to store it on a hanger, sew straps to the waistline to relieve pressure on the shoulder seams from the weight of the skirt.  Stuff the sleeves (if your gown has them) with white tissue.  Finally, wrap the entire garment in a protective sheet or muslin covering.  Do not encase the gown in plastic.

Your Wedding Reception (Celebration) Schedule

Weddings are filled with many exciting and unforgettable moments.  The commitment ceremony is very special and is considered sacred by many.  The reception is the  celebration time.  Since this celebration is likely to be one of the biggest social events you will ever plan, Triniweddings wants to help you make it truly memorable and we are sharing some guidelines to help you plan the best reception ever.

If your reception is likely to last four hours, you can schedule activities at a leisurely pace.  Both your wedding planner and and/or the reception site manager can help you plan the sequence of events exactly as you wish them.  If you don't know where to start, here is an example of a well scheduled reception you may wish to consider.

Usually there are photos taken between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception.  Work with your photographer to try to minimize the time spent with group shots.  The special effect photos that you want taken should be done before or a few days after the ceremony whenever possible.  Ideally, the reception site would not be further than half an hour’s drive from the ceremony.  Since  your guests are likely to go directly to the reception from the ceremony and are likely to arrive before you and the wedding party, be sure to have a reception host or hostess at the site ready to greet your guests and direct them to whatever area you have chosen for cocktails.  After the cocktails, and I am assuming here that you are having a formal reception, your guests are ushered into the formal area and are seated to await your arrival.  If your entire reception is a cocktail one, as is very fashionable these days, everything is done in the same space.

Once you and the bridal party have arrived, the DJ or master of ceremonies should introduce you and your wedding party.  This is the appropriate time for a few toasts and cake cutting. However, more and more couples are choosing to have dinner served before the toasts depending on how much time has elapsed between the ceremony and the reception and your choice of cocktails.  You and the groom can start greeting guests if you have finished your dinner before your guests. It is very important that you greet your guests.

Triniweddings always prefers to use the first dance as the prelude to the dance party as it is natural for guests to start dancing after the couple and the parents dance.  Once the party has started and the guests are no longer inhibited the bride can toss her bouquet and the garter can be removed,  if she so chooses.  The tradition of the bride and groom departing the ceremony to signal its end is fast dying and couples are partying until the last guest leaves

For more advice and ideas on staging the reception of a lifetime, call 868 628-9333 or email mwilt@triniweddings.com to arrange your consultation appointment.

Budget Ideas

We know that if a bride isn’t careful, the budget for her wedding can be blown in an afternoon.

At TriniWeddings we are experts at helping brides create the wedding of their dreams without the nightmares that come with being over-budget. Here are some practical ideas that we know can help avoid the budget crunch.
The guest list. Look at your wedding realistically. You are inviting friends and relatives to help you celebrate this important day in your lives. Others on the list are likely to be friends of both sets of parents. A conversation with each of them about the number of guests is necessary unless you and/or your parents can afford to pay for everything and everyone.
Big floral arrangements (as seen on TV portrayals of "must have" accessories) are likely to be beyond your budget and are certainly not necessary. Take a good look at the church and see if you really need all those flowers. Most churches do not. Instead of floral overloads, we suggest that you rent some greenery if you have large places to fill. Use the money to enliven your reception spaces if necessary.
If you have a friend or relative who was recently married, it may be possible to borrow some things – gloves, shoes, veils or headpieces, jewelry. It will not only save you money but satisfy your need for "something borrowed".
When you place your order for wedding invitations, order all your wedding stationery needs at one time (including a few more than you think you will need) and do not forget your thank you cards. Set up charges for a few extras later can be very expensive.
While today’s invitations offer a wide variety of paper style, colors, fonts and trims. The current trend toward memorable and unique invitations may be exactly what you want. However this is costly and you may have to spend a significant portion of your budget on this. Try instead to make a simple elegant statement using ivory vellum and choosing an interesting font. For more invisible budget ideas, or answers to questions, phone us at 628-WEDD or email info@triniweddings.com

SOME GENTLE REMINDERS OF THINGS NOT TO DO!!!!

 

With all of the advice available to a bride on “What to do about…”, there are also a few “don’ts” to keep in mind.

#1 – An important reminder comes from the brazen actions of one or more pretend guests who – according to recent newscasts- walked into three different wedding receptions and walked out with the gift boxes that contained cash and cards.  Wedding planners continue to remind brides to make sure that someone (close to her or a security guard hired for the occasion) must be in charge of the gift table.  Don’t believe that just because you are having your reception in a church or well known club your gifts are safe.  Always make sure that someone you trust will be in charge of the gifts.  It is ideal if all gifts are sent to the bride’s home before the ceremony, or be collected from the store after the wedding, but we all know that most of the gift cards/cash are brought to the reception.  The table for gifts and the box for cards should never be out of surveillance.  And once all of the guests have arrived at the reception, the gifts should be either locked away in a room provided by the venue or entrusted to a family member for transport and or safe keeping.

#2 – It is never correct to enclose gift registration information with your wedding invitations.  Some stores may offer to give you enclosure cards for that purpose, but politely decline.  Wedding guests have always found out where a bride was registered by asking a friend or relative.  Today  the bride’s web page politely provides that information .  Likewise, do not include in your invitations the corner copy that reads “Cash Gifts Preferred” or “Cash Gifts Invited”.  Really tasteless!!!!

 #3- Don’t have a cash bar.  Having one is like inviting guests to dinner and then charging them for the food.  If your budget won’t cover the beverages of your choice, then pick other beverages.  Offer beer and wine.  Offer a special cocktail created for your reception.  Offer punch.  Have waiters pass champagne.  There are lots of creative options.

 #4 – Never seek sponsors to donate things like liquor or wine for a mention or advertisement in your program.  That is so NOT DONE.

For advice on potential other “don’ts”, call TriniWeddings at 868 628 (WEDD) or email info@triniweddings.com

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is an integral part of the wedding celebration.  It is a happy and relaxing time for family and friends.  It is designed to bring people together and  it sets the tone for the ceremony and celebration to come.

Traditionally, the groom’s family hosts the party.  They invite the immediate families of the bride and the groom, the officiating clergy and spouse, the complete wedding party and their spouses or dates.  If there are out-of-town guests include them in the evening’s festivities.

It is usually held immediately following the wedding rehearsal held the night before the ceremony.

At the dinner use a seating chart and place cards to help people ensure that they meet each other.

While the bridal couple and their parents usually sit at the head table, more and more couples are choosing to mingle with their guests.

As the host, the groom’s father makes the traditional toast to the couple and at this time he should introduce everyone as some guests may be unfamiliar with those in attendance.

This party is a perfect time for the couple to present gifts to  their attendants, especially if the items are to be worn at the wedding.

While it is a party, ensure that it doesn’t last too long.  Every member of the wedding party needs to get a good night’s sleep so that  they look their best at the main event the next day.

Introducing the Wedding Party After the Ceremony

Brides often ask us to explain the proper way to introduce the wedding party at the reception.  Our first suggestion is to insure that the time lag between ceremony end and reception start, is kept to a minimum.  Work with the photographer to have the post ceremony photos taken as quickly as possible so that guests are not waiting for events to begin.

If both sets of parents are going to be held up at the church for a bit, it is wise to ask a couple to serve as host and hostess until parents can arrive at the reception site.

While guests are waiting for the bridal party to arrive, they should be served appetizers and drinks. 

Once the bridal party arrives at the reception, the master of ceremonies for the evening ensures that  everyone  stands while he introduces each of the members of the party.  Since the bride and groom are the stars of the event, they are introduced last.  Parents of the bride, parents of the groom, the ring bearer and flower girl, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the best man and maid of honor are introduced in that order, followed by the bride and groom.   Be sure to check the names on the list for correct spelling and pronunciation when you provide the names to the person in charge of introductions.

For more creative ideas on introducing the wedding party,  invest in a TriniWeddings consultation.  Call 868 628 (WEDD) or email info@triniweddings.com  to book your appointment.

Handling Your Destination Wedding

 

These days more and more couples are choosing to combine weddings and vacation celebrations, and it brings more issues to handle than is realized.

 For couples thinking of this option, the following advice refers:

·         Decide on your guest list which will likely be small.

·         Research your chosen destination to see if it will work for you.

·         Ask about length of residency required before you can marry there.

·         If at all possible, visit the location before you make your decision.

·         Once decided, book as early as possible and hire a local wedding planner to handle the legwork for you.  Your TriniWeddings  Planner is certified and can provide invaluable assisstance to  brides in coordinating their weddings anywhere in the Caribbean. Your TriniWeddings Planner will be your eyes, ears and spokesperson as you create plans via long distance.

·         Be aware that other cultures may not always reply as promptly as you might expect.

·         Be aware that other cultures may not always have written contracts.

·         Learn about any restrictions or requirements that may exist for ceremonies and receptions.

·         Be aware of any dress requirements for the wedding couple and/or their attendants.

·         Be prepared to pay extra to bring your wedding dress and the groom’s wear on board your flight.

Once you have made your decision, resolve to be flexible and relaxed about the outcome.  TriniWeddings will make sure that it will all work out!

For more advice and information about your destination wedding, call TriniWeddings at 868 628 (WEDD) or email  info@triniweddings.com