About Me
- TriniWeddings
- Marilyn Duncan Wiltshire; CWS(Certified Wedding Specialist), BA, dip Ed, is the owner and principal consultant of Triniweddings. She previously owned and managed P&S Rentals, a Party Rentals company which she sold at the end of 2013 to dedicate her time solely to weddings. She is an accomplished Special Events Planner and a member of Weddings Beautiful Worldwide, the International Special Events Society and the Association of Bridal Consultants. She has been responsible for the coordination and production of many successful local weddings and is associated with many of the country’s more prominent service providers.She also plans a great many “destination” weddings here in Trinidad and Tobago for brides who reside abroad. In addition to planning fabulous weddings she is a part time lecturer at the Lok Jack School of Business in the Event Management Program which is done in conjunction with the George Washington University in the United States. Marilyn recently acquired the license from Weddings Beautiful Worldwide to teach and confer the CWS and AWP designations to students throughout the Caribbean region.
Tuesday 27 September 2011
Friday 23 September 2011
What Should a Bride do when........?
Here atTriniweddings we gladly help our brides with awkward situations that do not necessarily make their way into etiquette books. In spite of all the advice available from so many resources, brides like to have an experienced specialist - a knowledgeable consultant - a certified wedding planner - available for face-to-face problem solving. We are available for your unexpected problems and issues. Every wedding is unique and so can the problems presented by the people factor. This is a question we are repeatedly asked.
“How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on their RSVPs that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?”
If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much grace as you can muster.
If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extras, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guest well. Ask this person to call the guests in questions and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, or space concerns! If the person makes it known that they are offended - and trust me, some will - they are not your true friends and are clearly overstepping etiquette boundaries.
Often, the ‘extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the invitation reads, “Adult only reception”. Or you can choose for the children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere at the same venue. You can provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.
“How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on their RSVPs that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?”
If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much grace as you can muster.
If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extras, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guest well. Ask this person to call the guests in questions and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, or space concerns! If the person makes it known that they are offended - and trust me, some will - they are not your true friends and are clearly overstepping etiquette boundaries.
Often, the ‘extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the invitation reads, “Adult only reception”. Or you can choose for the children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere at the same venue. You can provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.
Invitation Etiquette
We at Triniweddings have invitation specialists to help brides choose the wedding invitations which set the tone for the wedding. It is an early indicator for the guests as to the type of celebration to which they are invited. We are knowledgeable about the various paper styles, font types and wording variations that brides are seeking. We are also asked about the appropriateness of certain wording choices. We know that more and more brides are making selections that blend the historically formal with the contemporary feel of today’s preferences. However the rule of good taste does still have punch and invitation specialists are being asked if it is ok to ask for gifts of money on the wedding invitation. The answer is a clear and consistent NO!
There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in an invitation the fact that the couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.
The situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have been living together for some time prior to the wedding. They tend to have all household necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry. They may be planning to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts. This is a worthy preference but the invitation is not the place to spread the word. For that they need to rely on word of mouth. the couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference. But as Emily post reminds us, “there is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.
As wedding specialists, we recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift, be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a cheque, that’s how we would use it. But whatever you decide will be appreciated. Thank you for asking”.
Not everyone is comfortable giving cash. Some people prefer a tangible gift and because there are guests with this preference, we suggest that brides also set up a traditional gift registry to accommodate these guests.
There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in an invitation the fact that the couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.
The situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have been living together for some time prior to the wedding. They tend to have all household necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry. They may be planning to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts. This is a worthy preference but the invitation is not the place to spread the word. For that they need to rely on word of mouth. the couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference. But as Emily post reminds us, “there is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.
As wedding specialists, we recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift, be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a cheque, that’s how we would use it. But whatever you decide will be appreciated. Thank you for asking”.
Not everyone is comfortable giving cash. Some people prefer a tangible gift and because there are guests with this preference, we suggest that brides also set up a traditional gift registry to accommodate these guests.
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