Six things couples must do for themselves even though they have a Wedding Planner

These days many brides say with great relief, “I have a wedding planner.  He/she is handling everything for me.”  In fact, wedding planners can handle just about every aspect of your wedding, but there are areas that belong exclusively to the bride and groom.  I have listed six such areas.

 Assignment of Seats. 

It takes longer to explain the family dynamics to me than it does to just make the seat assignments. I can get the seating cards printed and make sure place cards are in the correct places, but the plan has to come from you.

Wedding budget

I can give you ideas and suggestions about how to allocate the total but I cannot determine the amount you have to spend.   

The members of your bridal party 

No one else can do this for you – nor should they.

Write your own vows  

You can use the standard vows offered by your church or officiant, but if you want to have your own, you need to write them yourself.  If needs be, you may have to edit your drafts as often as you need to until they are saying what you want them to.

Ceremony Music 

Generally, Wedding Planners have lists of music that others have chosen, but it is your wedding and you should have music that is meaningful to you.  This choice assumes that you have spoken with the officiant and you understand the church’s view of music to be played.

Thank you notes. 

Your guests came to your wedding and gave you a gift.  The least you can do is show your appreciation by thanking them.  You and the groom may decide to split the notes and each write half, but the couple must do it.

Wedding planners and coordinators can be a huge help in not only assisting you with your wedding plan, but also doing the work necessary to execute your plan. For more suggestions and assistance, get in touch with TriniWeddings at 868 624-4014 or email mwilt@triniweddings.com.

What every bride should know about her Mother’s role.

The mother of the bride has a very special place in the wedding planning process.  This special role is there whether or not your mother chooses to accept it.  For some mothers it is a Herculean task while others embrace it as the role of a lifetime. But what is important in all of this, is that she is included. 

With families frequently separated by miles, jobs, schools or divorce, parental roles have changed.  What has not changed is the importance of including your mother in the planning process wherever possible.  Occasionally I have met mothers who feel left out of the plans.

It is always great for you to involve your groom in the plans but not to the exclusion of your mother.  Your mother can make wonderful suggestions – so solicit her opinions and advice.  Chances are that she is experienced in dealing with things like receptions, parties, caterers and florists.

The person who should accompany you when you are selecting your wedding gown should be your mother.  Today’s tendency to bring the entire wedding party and solicit each of their opinions on THE GOWN generally is not a productive event. Your mother knows you, your tastes and your dreams. After all, she has known you for all your life.

She is also a good resource for choosing wedding accessories and gifts for your attendants.  She is the perfect person to take charge of the master guest list.  She can eliminate duplicates, help make decisions on the final list and gather the addresses.

Seek advice on, or let her plan the seating arrangements for the reception.  She’ll be the one who knows who should sit with whom and who shouldn’t be at the same table.

Among all your friends, she’ll be the best at helping you put things in perspective when you feel overwhelmed by it all.  That’s what moms do!

However, there may be times when you are inclined to feel that she wants to take over and force you to accept her opinions and advice, but this is the perfect time for you to enter another level of bonding and let her know that it is your big day and your views count too.

I have had to do quite a bit of conflict resolution between brides and their mothers. Some mothers are of the view that because they are financing the wedding, their wants should override the bride’s.  A few brides who have opted for DIY weddings have come to Triniweddings  for a consultation, just to sort out wedding planning conflicts. So when and if things seem to ever be getting out of hand with mom, a Wedding Consultant may be your best bet!