The Role of The Father of The Bride

                                                                   

It may not seem like it to him, but I have found that brides who are particularly close to their father worry about him and his feeling as the entire family gets involved in wedding planning.  He may feel left out or uncomfortable or just plain bewildered by all of the “craziness” going on around him.  TriniWeddings often counsels brides who ask about the father’s role.

While many may see him as the walking, breathing checkbook for this event, his role is really more important.  His most important job is to be supportive of the bride’s decisions in most areas.  Certainly family discussions will take place, but once a decision is made, Dad’s support is invaluable.  He may be at the point where he feels that he is losing his little girl, but his support is priceless to her.

His official duties as father of the bride include riding to the ceremony with the bride (where appropriate).  He escorts the bride down the aisle on his right arm, and then joins his wife in the front pew (unless other arrangements take precedence. I once had a bride who hated the suit her dad was wearing, she felt it did not complement the dress she was wearing and did not want him escorting her down the aisle “in that suit”. She found it was old fashioned and he had spent a small fortune on it and he loved it.  TriniWeddings had to mediate and it was resolved amicably.

As the official host of the reception, he mingles with the guests.  He may or may not stand in the receiving line if there is one. That is really his call and he should not be forced to do this. Some dads like it and others do not.

He generally keeps an eye on the bar and champagne supply and makes a short toast at the reception.

Traditionally, he has a short dance with the bride after she dances first with the groom.

Finally, he is the last person to leave the reception and say goodbye to the guests.

He may still pay the majority of the wedding costs and sign the bill for the reception, but in today’s weddings, many costs are shared.

His presence provides a sense of continuity to the event and his love and support for his daughter is a comfort to all.

WEDDING PLANNING TIPS

We know that it takes a happy combination of events and planning to produce a “perfect” wedding.  Here are a few tips from TriniWeddings.

·         If you are concerned about a guest list that has gotten out of hand and is too long for your taste or budget, assemble an unedited list of names (potential guests) and ask everyone involved to rank the names from most to least important. If when you check   the “most important” names,    it falls within your budget or is close, thank everyone and settle the list.  If the numbers are still off, then ask people to cut a designated percentage from their lists.  Take stock of the new total and see if the process needs to be repeated.

·         Some people make an “A” List of Guests and then a “B” List. After someone from the “A” List declines, they then invite someone from the “B” list. Please do not consider doing this because it ends up being an after thought. Your invitations have been out there, have been discussed and the person who is receiving their own after everyone knows that they were not originally invited. It is very “Kardashian”! and shows poor taste!

·         To determine the size of the site you’ll need for your reception, be sure to investigate the  parking  facilities and the rest rooms as well as the size of the hall. The rule of thumb for toilets is that there should be at least one for every 25 guests.  The parking lot should accommodate one parking space for every two guests.

·         Always have at least one attendant assigned to your gift table at the reception even if you are not planning to open and display the gifts there.  You would be surprised at how many gifts go missing.  Money gifts should be kept in special receptacles and secured.  When I am leaving a wedding I always make sure to hand the money gifts to the Mother of the Bride or another person designated by the couple. People seem always to forget to make transport arrangements for the gifts and the cake and at the end of the wedding there is a mad scramble to ask people to help with transportation.

·         If parents and stepparents are contributing money for your reception, it is much better to pool the money in advance.  Then no contributor will demand to take control of how the money is spent.  If someone feels strongly about “sponsoring” a particular wedding expense, it is far better to know that up front so that you can work with that person to accommodate preferences.

For more helpful advice, call 868 624 4015 or email   info@triniweddings.com  for answers to your most perplexing situations.

Centerpiece Ideas (cont'd)

I had shared some centerpiece ideas on my blog in July. Here are some more:-

There is a wide variety of centerpiece options which complement the theme of the wedding and/or reflect the couple’s search for “something unique”!

 Traditional floral arrangements, complete the look of elegance and can reflect the bride’s chosen color palette. They work beautifully as long as the arrangements are either low enough (under 12-14 inches) or high enough (at least 30 inches) so that guests can converse across the table – or at least see each other.  Formal arrangements in glass or silver containers send one message, while daisies or sunflowers in canning jars send another.

With the changing view of wedding cakes, many brides are opting to make desert the centerpiece of guest tables.  Cupcake trees, lollipop cakes, cookie and dessert bar assortments and miniature versions of the bridal cake make perfect centerpiece options.

Guest favors artfully arranged on clear plastic or glass trays work well when accompanied by thank you notes from the bride and groom.

Candles of varying heights and shapes arranged on mirrors make a wonderful centerpiece for each table and the accumulated impact can be breathtaking. However, be sure to check the reception hall’s cooling system.  If  air is going to be blowing over the tables, your candles won’t last long.  If your reception is in a tented area, think about LED tapers instead of actual candles.

Some brides have made the wine being served with dinner an integral part of the centerpiece.  With some greenery and/or wrapped cheese miniatures the different bottles make an intriguing focal point.

Another idea is to collect a variety of glass serving pieces and fill them with beverages (or water) the theme color of the wedding.

Framed photos of the bride and groom as children grouped in the center of the table, work well as centerpieces and conversation starters.

For more good ideas contact  TriniWeddings at 868 624-4015, we will be happy to help you with your choices.

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