The Grooms’ Role

Contrary to previous rumors, grooms do have more to do than just “show up at the church on time”.  There may be some who choose not to be involved in the wedding planning process, but many of today’s grooms are interested in helping to plan this milestone moment in their lives.  They want to make the wedding itself a truly shared experience.  Anna Post assembled the list below for the Emily Post Web site.

Each of these “duties” will not only help the wedding planning process, but will truly make the groom feel more a part of the plans.  He certainly can help searching out and selecting the venue for the ceremony and reception, establishing the budget, creating the guest list, making gift registry selections and the critical job of keeping his parents in the loop regarding wedding plans.

In addition to these functions, the groom’s list includes:

• Selecting the engagement ring – though these days brides may also be involved in selection.
• Choosing his wedding party – best man, groomsmen and ushers.
• Choosing the attire for the groom’s wedding party – in keeping with the style of the wedding.
• Selecting the thank you gifts for his wedding party.
• Selecting the bride’s wedding gift.
• Compiling the groom’s part of the guest list and making sure that his parents provide their guest list in a timely manner.
• Choosing the wedding bands together.
• Arranging for and purchasing the marriage license.
• Arranging for transportation from the ceremony to the reception site.
• Standing in the receiving line if there is one and if there isn’t then greeting all the guests at the reception along with the bride.
• Dancing the first dance with the bride, dancing with the couple’s respective mothers and the maid/matron of honor.
• Making appropriate toasts at both the rehearsal dinner(if there is one) and the reception.

Insuring That the Tuxedo or Suit Fits

 

There is the choice of having your tuxedo or suit made by a professional tailoring establishment or renting one from a formalwear specialist. Whether you choose to rent or purchase, it is important to choose a reputable formalwear dealer or established tailoring establishment to insure a good fit for members of your wedding party. You ought to work closely with the specialist to insure that the style of tuxedo or suit chosen for the groom and groomsmen will make all the men look their best as well as coordinate with the bride’s party.

Whether you have chosen to have your suits/tuxedos made or rented the following applies. Once the style is chosen the groom and the best man should take an active role in insuring that all male members of the wedding party get fitted well in advance of the wedding date.  A little basic knowledge about sizing men’s suits will help this process proceed more smoothly. 

I have found the following guidelines to be helpful with fittings:

• Jackets – A man should be able to fit his hand between his chest and the front of the jacket when it is buttoned.  Back vent (s) should lie flat. The coat should allow free movement of the arms.  Armholes should not be snug. It should fasten easily and not bind.  It should fall smoothly across the back and should not bunch up across the shoulders when the arms move forward.
• Jacket length – for most standard jackets, the bottom of the jacket should reach the curl of the fingers when the arms are held straight down at the sides.  This allows the shirt cuff to show ½ to l inch.

·        Trousers – should sit at the waist and fit the waist allowing the width of one finger inside the waistband.  Trousers are hemmed so that they barely break as they rest on top of the shoes.  They should fall smoothly in the back to just the top of the heel of the shoe.  Most formal trousers are not cuffed.

·        Vests should button comfortably across the chest.  Vest buttons should line up with the front of the jacket and overlap the waistband on the trousers.

While many men may fuss about having to wear formal clothes, the truth is men look fabulous in well tailored/fitted tuxedos or suits. Members of the wedding party should be cooperative at the fitting and should be on time to try on the clothing so that there is time for any needed adjustments to be made.

Should you need to know where you can get rented suits or tuxedos  or need any type of consultation for your pending wedding call TriniWeddings at 624-4015. Our consultation fees are quite affordable.

How To Be A Good Guest

An invitation is coming your way from a family member or a good friend or both.  It is an honor to be selected to help the couple celebrate a wonderful part of their life.

If you RSVP with a positive response, you become an official guest at this party.  You will no doubt bring an appropriate wedding gift, but did you know that another gift you give to the couple is the knowledge of how to be a good guest, and the wisdom to use that knowledge.

Here is a checklist of do’s and don’t that you can follow to insure that your behavior will not cause the couple to grimace on their 10^th anniversary as they recall events from their wedding.

 

DO

• Make sure to send your RSVP in a timely manner.
• Arrive at the wedding at least 10 minutes before the ceremony is to begin.
• Stay standing at the back of the church if you are going to be late.
• Keep your cell phone on silent.
• Dress appropriately.
• Have fun dancing but do not call attention to yourself or your partner.
• Respect the couple’s wishes even if they aren’t what you would choose.

DON’T

• Change your mind about attending so that you cancel and then show up anyway.
• Sit in a front row.  That is for the immediate family only.
• Text or tweet or blog during the ceremony
• Wear jeans or other inappropriate wear unless requested by the couple
• Get in the way of the professional photographer doing his job.
• Trash talk the couple’s choices.

Setting the Date

He asked and you said “yes”.  Congratulations to you both.  Your engagement period signals the beginning of a wonderful and exciting time in your lives.  Where to start?  Setting the date!

As you consider various dates, times and places for your wedding, here are some points to think about.

• Think about your budget.  It is true that some months are more expensive than others.  (Think about the Law of Supply and Demand you learned in Econ 101).  In popular months like June and December some reception locations, photographers, florists and DJs may charge more for their services.  If you can wait for a less crowded month, you may be able to stage the same wedding for less money.

• Think about the season.  If you have been dreaming of a Christmas wedding your whole life, then go for it.  But think about the time needed for preparations and plan accordingly.  If you want a certain church, a certain reception site and a certain gown and flowers, you may have to adjust time frames.  Your answer is to book early and be prepared to be flexible on dates and/or times.

• If you are on a fast track at work or have a job that requires huge blocks of your time, be sure to engage the services of a professional wedding consultant.  He/she will end up saving you both time and sanity (and maybe even money).

• Consider scheduling your wedding around a holiday.  That can give you both a theme for the wedding and time for your out of town guests to attend.

• If your plans include a destination wedding, you will need to be more flexible in your dates and times.  Decide which is more important – the date of the wedding or the place of the wedding.  Once that decision is made, you can proceed.

At TriniWeddings we are used to working with schedules and helping busy brides create a schedule for your event and follow through with all the details necessary to create a day to remember for you and your guests.

“With this Ring, I do thee Wed”

We think the history behind the wedding traditions we’ve come to know is fascinating.  For example, the engagement process was nearly as important as the wedding itself. Weddings were arranged primarily for political and/or business reasons and not necessarily for the notion of “romantic love”.

In the days when brides were stolen, the bride’s family would insist on being reimbursed for what was considered a working member of the family.  The engagement signified the transfer of ownership from father to husband and covered a period of time during which families would negotiate and agree on the “price” of the bride.

The wedding band came to symbolize eternal love because it has neither a beginning nor an ending.  The tradition of using one grew out of the ancient custom of using circlets of grass to decorate a bride’s wrist and ankles.  Although not required to validate a marriage under civil law, rings came to be required during the 16^th century after a ruling from the Council of Trent. 

Today, rings are not required by law in order for a marriage to be legal, but few couples wed without exchanging rings as part of the ceremony.