Here atTriniweddings we gladly help our brides with awkward situations that do not necessarily make their way into etiquette books. In spite of all the advice available from so many resources, brides like to have an experienced specialist - a knowledgeable consultant - a certified wedding planner - available for face-to-face problem solving. We are available for your unexpected problems and issues. Every wedding is unique and so can the problems presented by the people factor. This is a question we are repeatedly asked.
“How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on their RSVPs that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?”
If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much grace as you can muster.
If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extras, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guest well. Ask this person to call the guests in questions and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, or space concerns! If the person makes it known that they are offended - and trust me, some will - they are not your true friends and are clearly overstepping etiquette boundaries.
Often, the ‘extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the invitation reads, “Adult only reception”. Or you can choose for the children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere at the same venue. You can provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.
“How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on their RSVPs that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?”
If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much grace as you can muster.
If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extras, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guest well. Ask this person to call the guests in questions and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, or space concerns! If the person makes it known that they are offended - and trust me, some will - they are not your true friends and are clearly overstepping etiquette boundaries.
Often, the ‘extras” are uninvited children. You can keep this from happening if the invitation reads, “Adult only reception”. Or you can choose for the children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere at the same venue. You can provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.
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